Lord Satan lives in Mui Ne
December 23rd, 2023
Mui Ne, Vietnam
I dreamt of Lord Satan. I was in a cozy, candlelit room, the type of place you'd call your boyfriend to break up with him, but trying to let him down easy. He wasn't entirely corporeal, more so a shadow, a voice that didn't speak any language in particular but was understood oh, so clearly.
I asked him eagerly the question, the one I've been nursing since I was fifteen or so. In hindsight, I suppose there was a reason why my prayers were like tiptoeing in the shower during a cold winter morning. Though special and beautiful, sometimes admiration is not a sign.
He showed me his answers with an obsidian pendulum that swung decisively, absolute. The whisper of something along the lines of 'I appreciate it, child. But no.' being spoken directly into my subconscious. The answer was shattering, even in a dream. An odd sort of heartbreak I will likely never get over.
I'm not even going to lie, I kinda wanted to cry when he told me no. I asked another question like a kicked dog—one that believed it would not truly belong anywhere, with anyone—afraid that no God had witnessed the creation of my soul, no holy imprint behind my ribs.
But he showed me my altar, the one I left behind on the other side of the globe. The one built for the eternal twins. It was alive, waiting for my return.
This is an old (ooooold) entry in my journal. I remember feeling quite lost, even while vacationing in what looked and felt like paradise. This dream was something I never quite got over, as I have a profound admiration for what Satan, as the adversary, represents. Construction from destruction. Looking within for everything.
I am certain that even though he showed me the answer to my question (yes, I am in fact being looked after by Lord Apollon and Lady Artemis. Accepted and acknowledged in my worship) that he would be proud when I speak from power and do not depend on Deities for everything.
We are born whole and are worthy of being deified. And though our paths may not cross this time around, I will never forget that. Ave Satanas.
Bonus: Me at El Ateneo last year. A girl's first love.